It's a Wonderful Christmas Carol
by Sarae64
Summary: It's Christmas Eve and Brennan is visited by spirits who try to show her life can we wonderful. Spoilers for any episode up to and including 6x09. Holiday, B&B, Complete
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at Bones fic. It was rushed, is un-betaed and thus all mistakes are mine. I just wanted to get this up before the holiday was completely over. Merry Christmas!

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. I own nothing and I make nothing from it. :)

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December 24, 11:55 pm

Dr. Temperance Brennan yawned and leaned back into her office couch. She had moved with her laptop from her desk chair about an hour earlier in an effort to coax her back muscles into relaxing and easing the ache she'd been feeling most of the evening. Having just finished a chapter in her latest novel, she allowed her eyes to close for just a moment.

A strange noise caused her eyes to fly open and she realized she had dozed off. She looked at her watch and noted with a sigh of relief that it had only been a few minutes, but then noticed that her watch had stopped working. She frowned and shook the time piece, but the hands on the watch did not move.

"Tempe, what are you doing here this late on Christmas Eve?" The voice was oddly familiar and not at the same time and sent a chill down Brennan's spine. She stood quickly, turned toward the door to her office and sucked in a sharp breath as recognition of the woman walking slowly towards her dawned.

Brennan was not exactly frightened, but she was definitely disturbed. She looked quickly through the glass front wall of her office toward the entrance to the lab to see if security were hot on the trail of the intruder. Seeing nothing moving in the outer lab area, she turned her attention quickly back to the woman standing in front of her and tried to relax, preparing for whatever response might be needed in the coming moments.

"It's okay, Tempe," the woman said in a soothing voice. "I know this is difficult for you."

Brennan studied the woman quietly, looking for something that might give her a clue about what was happening. The details she catalogued in her brain provided no useful information. Whoever was perpetrating this ruse had done their homework and anger was quickly surpassing all of the other emotions Brennan was working to suppress.

"I don't know what you hope to accomplish," Brennan said as she walked toward her desk intending to call security to escort the woman out. She was halted in her progress by an icy cold, but gentle touch that grazed her arm. Uncharacteristically, Brennan did not respond with one of her aggressive defensive moves. She simply stopped and studied the woman more closely.

"Tempe," the woman said again. "Don't you recognize me?"

"I recognize that you have done a remarkable job of making yourself look like my mother," Brennan said, "though I have no idea why."

"I look like your mother because I am your mother, Temperance," the woman said and she reached up with her icy hand to graze Brennan's cheek. Brennan flinched and leaned back away from the touch.

"My mother is dead," Brennan said in a much stronger voice.

"Yes," the woman agreed. "And I know you do not believe in life after death, ghosts or angels," she continued, "but I am your mother."

"You expect me to believe that you are some sort of apparition?" Brennan asked in a scoffing tone. "But you are solid." Brennan reached out to poke at the woman. "I can feel you."

"Yes," the woman said as she nodded.

Brennan frowned. "I must be dreaming," she said under her breath. "OK, for arguments sake and to speed things along, I'll concede you are my mother. Why are you here?"

"Well, that was easier than I expected," Christine said and chuckled.

Brennan folded her arms across her chest and sighed. "Look, the only logical explanation is that I'm dreaming. Say what you came to say so I can wake up and go home."

Christine smiled and walked the last few steps to the couch. She sat down and patted the seat next to her to indicate she wanted Brennan to join her on the couch. Brennan rolled her eyes, sighed and complied.

"You're still a stubborn girl, Tempe," Christine said as Brennan sat down. "And you haven't answered my question."

Brennan frowned in confusion and played back the last few moments in her eidetic memory. "I'm working. That's what I do here. I work," Brennan said. She was annoyed and still feeling wary of this visitor's intentions..

"You were invited to spend the evening with friends," Christine said. "Why are you working? There is no pressing deadline."

Brennan looked away. "I didn't feel like celebrating this year," she said quietly.

"Oh, Tempe," Christine said softly. "You've made quite a mess of things, haven't you?"

"What mess?" Brennan asked, her annoyance returning.

"You had been making such progress," Christine replied. "Two years ago, you even hosted a family gathering for Christmas. It was wonderful!"

"Well, a lot has changed in the last two years," Brennan retorted.

"And who is responsible for that?" Christine asked. Before Brennan could protest, Christine held up her hand and continued. "Listen to me, please. I don't have a lot of time."

Brennan frowned but said nothing.

"All I want is for you to be happy. You were well on your way to finding that happiness, but then you got scared and put on the breaks."

"I don't know what that means," Brennan said.

"You know more than you let on," Christine said. "You're so like your father in so many ways. But he didn't run alone." Brennan started to interrupt, but Christine continues on quickly. "Tempe, I'm so sorry our choices impacted you so deeply. I want to fix what we broke, if I can."

"There's nothing to fix," Brennan protested.

"Yes," Christine said sadly, "there is. You have such a generous heart and an amazing capacity to love. It's why you have done so well with so little." Christine paused a moment to consider her daughter. "But you have built some mighty walls around yourself to keep anyone from getting too close."

"I've never built a wall," Brennan said with a roll of her eyes.

"Emotionally, you have," Christine said. "Someone got very close to breaching those walls and it scared you." Brennan shook her head in protest as tears began pooling in her eyes. "You've already experienced the heart crushing pain, Temperance. Why do you continue to deny yourself the indescribable joy that should be renewing you and sustaining you through the difficult times?"

"I experience joy," Brennan replied.

Christine sighed and nodded. "You do," she conceded. "But you're missing out on one of the most wonderful and fulfilling experiences of a lifetime because you're afraid...because you don't believe you're capable of returning the love and devotion he wants to give to you. You want evidence, but won't recognize it when it's presented. The choices you've made since returning from your hiatus should be evidence enough that you are capable of returning that love and devotion. You've put his happiness ahead of yours consistently."

Brennan said nothing, but wiped a tear that defied her attempts to hold it back.

"You want evidence," Christine said quietly. "So, you shall have it, my dear daughter. And I pray you will examine it and analyze it. Then I hope you reach the same conclusion that has already come to everyone who really knows you."

"What evidence?" Brennan asked. She sniffed and wiped at another tear.

"You will be visited tonight by three more apparitions, as you like to call us," Christine said. "Please take this gift and know that I love you, that I have always loved you and always will."

Christine reached out and caressed Brennan's face. The numbing cold of her mother's caress sent a jolt through her and she closed her eyes in reaction. When she opened her eyes, the apparition was gone.

Brennan stood and looked around. She found only silence and stillness. She looked at her watch and noticed it was working again. It had only been about five minutes since she stopped writing and closed her eyes. Though she thought the encounter nothing more than an extremely vivid dream, she was overcome with a sudden feeling of sadness and regret which she quickly pushed aside.

Brennan stretched and yawned. Then she shut her computer down, packed up her stuff and decided to head home. It was late, or rather very early and she was tired.


	2. Chapter 2

December 25, 1:00am

Brennan had been home for about 40 minutes and in bed for 30 minutes. She was truly exhausted and sleeping soundly when she heard another familiar voice speak her name as a very cold hand began to gently nudge her shoulder.

"Sweetie," Angela said. "Wake up."

"No," Brennan said as she rolled over.

"Brennan!" Angela said in a louder, more demanding tone. "Wake up!"

Brennan sat up and blinked. "Ange, what are you doing here?"

"I am here to take you on a journey of reminiscence," Angela replied and smiled brightly while gesturing gracefully with her arms.

"I don't want to go anywhere," Brennan protested.

"Yes, you do," Angela said as she stepped forward, handed Brennan her plush, baby blue robe and took hold of her hand.

Brennan was momentarily disoriented by the change in her surroundings. She pulled her hand violently from Angela's ice cold hand and stepped away, eyeing Angela with trepidation. Brennan theorized that her lack of focus up until this moment was caused by being awakened from a dead sleep. She shivered as she stepped away from the woman who looked and sounded like Angela. Brennan pulled the robe on over her baggy, snowflake dappled, baby blue pajama pants and the white camisole she'd been sleeping in.

"Who are you?" Brennan asked as she kept a wary distance from Angela. The woman was a dead ringer for Angela, down to the gauzy white dress with the long flowing, medieval sleeves and overlapping layers of fabric which Brennan was just now noticing. "Will this dream never end?" she thought.

"Shhhh..." Angela put a finger to her lips and shushed Brennan before the lights on a Christmas tree in the corner of the room were turned on and bathed the room in a cheery warm glow. Brennan and Angela stood in the corner opposite the tree as Brennan tried to orient herself and take in her surroundings. Recognition of a pleasant memory was beginning to glimmer as an auburn haired girl who appeared to be about five years old came bounding into the room followed by a boy who was a few years older and two adults who must have been their parents.

The girl completely ignored a large, intricate wooden doll house that had been placed between the tree and a chair beside the tree. Instead, she pulled a heavy rectangular box onto her lap with some effort and began tearing through the wrapping paper to reveal a basic tool box set.

"That's..." Brennan paused and pointed. She was momentarily speechless.

"Yes, Sweetie," Angela said. "That's you and the family back in the day. Aw...you were adorable even then."

"But..." Brennan paused again, mesmerized by the happy family scene playing out before her from a different perspective than she had previously recalled.

"You remember how happy you were?" Angela asked.

A tear trailed down Brennan's cheek. "Yes," she said quietly. "This was one of the happiest Christmases I remember."

"Yeah, it's like a Norman Rockwell painting," Angela said. Then she reached out her hand to Brennan again. "Come on," she said. "We can't let any grass grow under our feet."

"Can't we stay for a few more minutes?" Brennan asked wistfully.

"Nope," said Angela as she grabbed Brennan again with her icy cold hand.

Brennan shuddered and closed her eyes. When she opened them, the scene was a bit more chaotic. A pathetic looking tree stood in the corner of a shabby, but tidy apartment. They were standing a short distance behind a boy who appeared to be about 10 years old standing between a man and a younger boy. Both boys were wearing pajamas and their hair was mussed. The man was wearing a pair of boxers and a white ribbed tank top, his face was stubbled with a day's growth of facial hair.

A beer bottle was laying on the coffee table and beer was spilled on the table and floor. Brennan could not see any other food or drink present on the little table in the dining area behind the man. It appeared to be morning in this household too. She felt her stomach clench as she watched the younger boy cowering behind the older boy as the man was screaming, his face red with anger.

Brennan deduced the boys had been playing with a Christmas toy and had knocked over the bottle by accident. She wondered what kind of man drank beer so early on Christmas morning and she wanted so badly to step in between the man and the boy before the man's anger escalated. She also wondered why she was watching this scene as she could not recall ever having been in this dwelling or ever having seen these people before.

"Why..." Brennan started to ask, but then she was stunned into silence as she heard the man yell.

"Seeley, what did I tell you about playing with that ball in the house?" The man lashed out at the boy as the boy's hands came up in defense, deflecting some of the force of the blow before the man's hand made contact with his face.

The boy staggered backward as his head was knocked to the side, but he stayed upright. Blood began to trickle from his nose as he apologized to his father. "I'm sorry, Dad. It won't happen again."

Brennan moved to step between the man and his son as she exclaimed, "Booth..."

Angela held her back by grabbing her arm. "You can't do anything, Sweetie. This is just a replay of events that have already happened."

Brennan sighed deeply as she fought back tears again. She was at once horrified by the abusive scene and fascinated by the young, brave boy she knew would one day become her partner. "How can a father be so cruel?"

"Grief, stress and alcohol can be a dangerous combination," Angela said. "But it's no excuse."

Brennan relaxed as she saw the Father fist his hands at his side, then point toward the kitchen. "You get in there and get this cleaned up," Booth's father said and then he walked into another room and slammed the door behind him.

Booth turned to look at Jared. "You okay?" Booth asked as he wiped at the blood that was already coagulating at the base of his nose. Brennan could finally see Booth's face and she immediately recognized him despite the bruise and swelling that were already forming on his nose.

"Yeah," Jared nodded. "Sorry, Seeley. It's my fault."

"It was just an accident, Jared," Booth said. "Come on, let's go get some paper towels and get this cleaned up."

"Some spirits are indomitable," Angela said as the two boys disappeared into the kitchen.

Brennan could not bring herself to speak. She had heard Booth or Hank briefly talk about how Booth's father had abused the boys, how Seeley had tried to protect Jared, but she'd never let herself think about it too much. Seeing it was almost more than she could bear.

"Let's keep moving, shall we?" Angela said as she took hold of Brennan's hand again.

When Brennan opened her eyes this time, she immediately knew where she was. This Christmas was burned into her memory and it took a lot of effort to keep it buried at this time of the year.

"Why this Christmas?" Brennan asked. "If you're in a hurry, let's just move on."

"No, you need to see this," Angela said.

Brennan watched as her brother worked silently to haul presents out of their parents bedroom and place them carefully under the tree and turned the twinkle lights on before standing back a bit to survey his handiwork. Satisfied that the tree was ready, Russ then went into the kitchen, pulled muffins out of the oven and placed them on the table. That was about the time Temperance walked down the stairs and into the living room.

Brennan recalled hearing the sounds, smelling the muffins, seeing the glow from the tree and increasing her speed with the anticipation she felt as she walked down the stairs. She remembered rounding the corner into the living room excited to see her parents sitting in the chairs surrounding the tree only to find those chairs empty. She remembered Russ coming up from behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder and wishing her a Merry Christmas.

What she hadn't recalled was the look of devastation on her brother's face when she ran sobbing back up the stairs and slammed her door shut. She'd been too young and self-absorbed to consider how her actions would affect her brother. Seeing it all play out again was painful and she hoped she would not be taken to many more of the Christmases that followed.

"Please," Brennan said quietly. "Please, can we go now?"

"Sure, Sweetie," Angela said as she smiled sadly and took hold of Brennan's hand again.

When Brennan opened her eyes, she was in another unfamiliar room, a warm, inviting and comfortable living room with an old world charm. The tree was beautiful and traditional and there was an aroma of coffee and maple syrup in the air. She was about to question where the apparition had taken her this time, but her thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of a young and devastatingly handsome Seeley Booth walking into the room. His hair was shorter than she was used to seeing and he was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt that were imprinted with ARMY.

Booth scrubbed his face with his hands and breathed in deeply. He grinned and quickened his pace toward the kitchen which Brennan now noted was located behind where she and Angela were standing.

"Whoa," Angela said as Booth walked by, "that boy has always been a grade A stud."

Brennan frowned at Angela and turned to see Booth give a quick hug to Hank and then accept a cup of coffee. "Merry Christmas, Pops!" he said.

"Well, it's about time you rousted yourself from that bed, Shrimp," Hank responded.

"Sorry," Booth said while still grinning from ear to ear. "The bed is so much more comfortable than the cot I've been sleeping on." Booth looked around and continued, "but it looks like I beat Jared."

Pops chuckled and pointed at the small dining table indicating he wanted Booth to sit. "That's not very hard to do," he said. Pop pulled a small wrapped box out of his pocket and slid it across to Booth. "I wanted to give you this," Hank said. "I'm so proud of you, Shrimp. And I know this might be the last Christmas you're able to come home for a while."

Booth smiled and thanked Hank as he picked up the box and give it a little shake. He ripped through the wrapping paper and revealed a square jewelry box. Booth gave Hank an inquisitive look but then turned his attention back to the box. He opened it slowly to find a sterling silver St. Christopher's medal hanging on a matching silver chain.

"Aw, Pops, thank you," Booth said.

"I don't know if you'll be able to wear it, but you can carry it with your belongings. I'll be praying for you, for God to keep you safe," Hank said.

Booth turned the medal over to reveal an inscription. He read it aloud. "Deo vindice," Booth said and nodded. "With God as Protector. I will keep this with me, Pops. I'll wear it when I can. Thank you." Booth reached over and gave Hank a big hug.

"You're going to have to be tough," Hank said and then he cleared his throat. Brennan recognized it as an attempt to keep his emotions at bay. "Ranger training is no cake walk, but you can do it."

Booth smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Pops. I'll do my best."

"I know you will, Shrimp." Hank gave Booth a pat on the shoulder as he stood up. "Now, how about some of my famous pancakes?"

"That sounds wonderful," Booth said as he pulled the medal out of its box and fastened it around his neck.

Brennan was completely mesmerized by the scene and thus, totally shocked when Angela grabbed her hand and whisked her away again. In a blink, they were standing on the loft lounge of the Jeffersonian Medico-Legal lab. Brennan immediately recognized the first Christmas she'd spent with Booth.

She and the apparition watched as Angela, Booth, Goodman, Hodgins and Zack opened the gifts they'd made for each other during their quarantine. Brennan knew she had opted out of this activity in favor of calling around to find Ivy Gillespie. So she was enjoying this peek into the joy and creativity she'd missed her first time through. Her enjoyment was short-lived as the Angela apparition took hold of her hand and whisked her to the first Christmas she spent with her family since her mother died.

Instead of revisiting the scene inside the conjugal trailer, however, they were standing in the snow outside the prison fence as Booth and Parker pulled up in Booth's vehicle. She could hear Booth answering Parker's questions as he pulled a 1.7 meter tree off the top of the SUV and set it on it's wooden base in front of the vehicle.

Booth pulled out a box of tree decorations, lights, tinsel and he and Parker made quick work of decorating the tree, all the while laughing and chatting. Brennan recalled all that she and Booth had discussed in the days leading up to this Christmas: how he'd suggested she ask Caroline to help reserve the trailer, how to ensure Russ would be able to join them and keep his incarceration a secret from the girls and how Caroline had insisted they kiss under the mistletoe in exchange for getting the trailer and transfer set up.

Brennan licked her lips as her mind replayed that kiss. She recalled the warmth that had flooded her body, the flush that came over her cheeks, her sudden inability to articulate thoughts. She pushed those thoughts away as she realized Booth had finished decorating and connecting the tree lights to his SUV battery. She knew he would be pulling his cell out momentarily to call and tell her about the tree.

That welcome and familiar warmth flowed over her again as she watched the dazzling smile Booth sent toward the trailer after he wished her a Merry Christmas over the cell. Parker's smile was nearly as big as the Booths waved.

"That's a very thoughtful man," Angela said as she walked up behind Brennan and startled her. "Come on. We have one more to stop before my time is up."

Brennan reluctantly allowed the apparition to take her hand again. There were only two other Christmases they could visit and she hoped it wouldn't be the one she spent in Maluku. That had been a very lonely Christmas and she had enjoyed the previous one so much more.

Fortunately, the apparition took her to her own loft and the dinner she'd hosted two years before this Christmas. She watched as her _family_, both professional and biological mingled in her living room just before gathering around her table for a moment of silence followed by a delicious meal.

Watching the dinner from a position outside the group again gave her a different perspective on the events of that day. While participating as a member of the gathering, she had not noticed how much time Booth spent watching her. She'd had no idea because he managed to look elsewhere nearly every time her eyes turned toward him.

She felt a wave of regret wash over her as she again recalled how oblivious she'd been to his feelings, how badly she'd hurt him when he'd finally asked her to notice and how much she wished she'd made a different choice. The apparition took her hand one final time and this time when she opened her eyes, Brennan was in the bedroom of her loft, illuminated only by the glow of street lights reflecting off the snowy sky. She heaved a heavy sigh and noticed the clock. It was 1:45 am and she was exhausted. She climbed back into her bed without bothering to remove the robe and within minutes she was fast asleep again.


	3. Chapter 3

December 25, 2:00 am

"Hey, Dr. B., I know I'm usually coaxing you into getting some sleep, but right now, I need you to wake up."

Brennan was startled awake for the second time that night by a familiar voice. She sat bolt upright as her brain tried to reconcile the familiarity of the voice with the wrong surroundings. She knew she was in her bedroom, but he'd never been there before. She looked at the chairs across the room beside the windows. In the furthest chair from her bed was Micah, the night watchman...or an apparition that looked and sounded like him.

"Micah?" Brennan asked as she blinked her eyes to clear them. "What are you doing here?"

"There's something I need to show you Dr. B.," Micah said as he stood up and held his hand out toward her. "Will you come with me, please?"

Brennan dragged herself out of bed and hesitantly walked toward Micah. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"Just a few stops," Micah said as he waited for her. "I'll have you back in no time, safe and sound in your bed." She finally reached him and took hold of his hand. Once again it was ice cold and sent a shiver down her spine.

In a blink she was in Angela and Jack's dining room. A scene similar to the last one the Angela apparition had shown her was playing out. Sweets and Daisy, Cam, Michelle and Paul, Wendell and a woman Brennan did not recognize were all seated around the large table with Jack and Angela.

The room was aglow with candles and twinkle lights. The smell of fir trees wafted from the beautiful boughs and swags that adorned the doorways and mantle. The mood was festive; the conversation was lively and interspersed with laughter. Three chairs remained empty and Brennan noticed that Angela looked toward them often.

"I know you wanted them to be here, Ang," Hodgins whispered to his wife. "I'm sorry."

Angela smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "I guess I knew they wouldn't be here, but I couldn't help hoping."

"Just think how much fun next Christmas will be!" Jack said and the excitement in his voice brought a genuine smile to her face. "We'll have a baby to spoil and even if he or she is too young to understand what's going on, I guarantee it will be amazing."

"It will be amazing," Angela agreed. "I just really wish that Brennan would have come. I hate the thought of her spending another Christmas alone."

"I know, Ang," Jack said. "We did everything but force her. How about we go check on her in a while and take her a plate of leftovers?"

Angela's smile brightened and she leaned over to give Jack a kiss. "That's a great idea."

"I suppose I should have accepted their invitation," Brennan said to Micah. "I just..."

"...didn't feel like celebrating this year," Micah said as he nodded. "I know." He reached out to take her hand and when she blinked she was in Booth's apartment.

She felt her stomach constrict and the dull ache in her chest she'd become so accustomed to in recent months returned as she looked around the apartment. Micah and she were standing near the fireplace in the living room. It had been quite a while since she'd visited this apartment and it seemed a little foreign to her for the first time. Brennan noted the Christmas tree standing near the bookcase between the living room and the bed room. There were a variety of ornaments on it, including some she surmised were made by Parker.

Voices from the kitchen drew her attention away from the tree. Micah motioned for her to follow him into the dining room. She reluctantly followed and was surprised to see Parker setting the table as Booth and Hannah appeared to be having a slight disagreement in the kitchen. Parker looked toward the kitchen and frowned.

"Hey, Dad," Parker called. "What is Bones doing today? Is she eating with the Hodgins?"

Booth poked his head through the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. He frowned at Parker and said, "I don't know, Bub."

"Why?" Parker asked. "Did you invite her to eat with us?"

"Uh, no," Booth said as he walked further into the dining room. "No, I didn't. Why are you so concerned about Bones?" Booth picked up silverware and began placing it near the plates Parker had already set out.

"I'm not concerned, exactly," Parker said. "I just haven't seen her in a while and I wondered what she had planned for Christmas. That's all."

"She didn't really say," Booth said.

"Oh," Parker said as he raised his eyebrows. Then he turned and started toward the living room. "Call me when dinner's ready."

Booth sighed and turned back toward the kitchen. "How much longer do you think it will be, Hannah?"

"I don't know, Seeley," she whispered loudly indicating her agitation. "I've never done this before!"

"Which is why I asked if you really wanted to do this," he whispered back.

"But I did want to do this. I just didn't realize it would be so complicated. And I think your oven is not working!" she said. The volume of her voice increased with each word. "The turkey should be done by now!"

Booth sighed again and walked to the oven. He opened it and noticed a distinct lack of heat. "Great," he said.

"I don't think this was the family Christmas Agent Booth had envisioned," Micah whispered in Brennan's ear. She shivered and felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"I suppose I should have hosted a dinner this year like I did the last time we were all together for Christmas," she said and sighed.

Micah shrugged and said, "Let's get you back to bed. You look worn out."

Brennan looked at the apparition with a scowl. "Perhaps you should stop invading my dreams and let me sleep."

Micah chuckled, shook his head and took hold of her hand.


	4. Chapter 4

December 25, 3:00 am

Brennan felt slightly more rested when she was roused once again. This time the apparition was Caroline Julian. Brennan was not sure why, but she felt a sense of dread as she took hold of this apparition's hand. As yet, this apparition had not spoken and Brennen found that a bit disconcerting.

"Where are we going?" Brennan asked as the apparition held out a hand to her.

"Cherie," said the Caroline apparition, "we're going on a journey of possibilities. Two distinct possibilities, to be exact. Choices have to be made and consequences result, but sometimes those consequences are difficult to discern when the choices need to be made."

"Yes," agreed Brennan. "I was intrigued by chaos theory for a short time while attending school, but I did not pursue it beyond a cursory understanding of the principals..."

"Hold it right there," Caroline said. "I'm not here to discuss mathematical theories with you. Now give me your hand. We've got a lot of ground to cover."

In a blink they were back in the Hodgins estate which was once again decked for Christmas, though the decor differed a bit from her previous visit. The twinkle lights were multi-colored now and the candles were electric. Two small children were giggling and playing in the family room in front of a large, beautifully decorated Christmas tree as Jack walked around picking up torn bits of wrapping paper and Angela picked up ribbons and bows.

"Twins?" Brennan asked Caroline. "About three years old?"

Caroline merely smiled at Brennan and turned her attention back toward the children who were now arguing over the same toy. Angela stopped picking up bows long enough to walk to the twins and calmly place a hand on the toy in question. "Joy," Angela said as she looked at her curly brunette, blue-eyed daughter, "and Alex," she continued while looking at her wavy brunette, brown-eyed son.

The two children stopped arguing and looked at their mother. Joy moved first to wrap her arms around Angela's leg in a hug, which allowed Alex to take sole possession of the toy. Joy then followed her mother around as Angela continued to pick up ribbons, gift tags and bows.

"They're beautiful," Brennan said. Her voice was thick with emotion as she held back tears.

"Yes, they are," Caroline agreed. Suddenly, a sponge tipped projectile flew across the room and knocked a photo from the mantle. Joy ran over to pick up the photo, but Angela hurried after her and stopped her just before she could reach the broken frame.

"Be careful, Joy," Angela said as she held her daughter back. "Let mommy pick this up. I don't want you to cut yourself on the broken glass."

Joy watched as Angela gingerly picked up the larger pieces of glass, the scattered pieces of the frame and the photo it had once held. A few moments later Jack appeared with a hand vacuum to clean up the smaller glass bits. Ever the curious one, Joy asked, "Mommy, who is in the picture?"

Angela looked at the picture and a melancholy expression graced her face. "You are in the picture, Joy," Angela said as she knelt down to show her daughter a photo of an infant in a beautiful lacy white gown being held by Brennan.

"Who is that?" Joy asked as she pointed to Brennan.

"That is mommy's best friend," Angela said. Jack finished with the vacuum and moved to stand behind Angela so he could look at the photo too.

"That was a good day," Jack said as he smiled at his wife and daughter.

"Where is she?" Joy asked.

Angela stood and Jack wrapped his arm around her as she ran her fingers softly over the photo. She looked at Jack with raised eyebrows, silently asking him how she should answer. He answered for her. "She is in a place very far away," Jack said as he reached down to pick up his daughter.

"And mommy misses her every day," Angela said. She walked the photo over, laid it on a side table and looked at the photo for a few more moments. Then she took a deep breath, put a broad smile on her face and turned back toward her family. "So, who's hungry?" she asked.

"Me!" the twins exclaimed in unison. They began to scamper towards the doorway as Angela turned to Jack and said quietly. "We really need to check on Booth today."

Jack nodded and promised, "I'll go over there as soon as we finish breakfast. I'll do my best to persuade him to join us for dinner again." Angela nodded in return and kissed Jack before they both turned to follow the children.

Brennan was turning to Caroline to ask a question when the apparition took hold of her hand. Brennan blinked and they were standing in Booth's apartment again. In stark contrast to her earlier visit, the apartment was cold and dark. There were no decorations, no twinkle lights, no candles, nothing to indicate it was Christmas.

Booth was sitting on the couch. His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. A nearly empty bottle of whiskey was standing opened on the coffee table and his Glock was lying very near it. There was a photo of the group from the Christmas dinner she'd hosted two years previous on the table next to the bottle and Booth was clutching a framed photo of Parker, though a slightly older version than Brennan remembered, in his hands.

Brennan was very disturbed by what she saw, felt and smelled. Booth's apartment had never been like this since she'd known him and though she'd seen him through some intense emotional times, she'd never seen him look this despondent. She turned to Caroline with a concerned frown on her face.

"What is this?" she asked. "What has happened?"

"This," said Caroline, "is the same morning, just a different location."

"This is the same Christmas morning?" Brennan clarified. "Where is Parker? Where is Hannah? Why is he alone and...drinking?"

"Hannah left," Caroline said, "quite some time ago." Brennan waited, but no other answers were forth-coming.

"What about Parker? Is he with Rebecca?" Brennan asked.

"No, Cherie," Caroline said and sighed. "Parker is not with Rebecca. Remember, I said we were seeing possibilities...consequences of choices made?"

Brennan nodded and swallowed. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach and she felt her respiration increase involuntarily.

"You see, Angela was upset and missing you because you chose to leave again, to go join some dig in some backward, bug-infested, ancient jungle where law and order are non-existent and this time, your luck ran out."

Brennan's stricken expression only hinted at the fear she felt at hearing the apparitions narrative.

"They never found you, but after a year of searching, wondering and waiting, you were declared dead." Caroline shook her head slowly. "As a result, you weren't here when Parker broke his arm playing hockey. So, you didn't look at his X-rays and didn't detect that his break wasn't merely a result of trauma suffered during the game. In fact, his bones were weakened by cancer. The doctor who treated him didn't catch it either. If they had caught it as you undoubtedly would have, treatment could have begun while the disease was still curable. Unfortunately, that didn't happen."

"Parker..." Brennan whispered as she looked at Booth again. She felt her heart clench at the thought of his sweet boy being gone.

"Yep," Caroline continued. "Booth is about at the end of his rope. Hannah left shortly after their first Christmas together. He weathered that pretty well. But you had already run off on your ill-considered, fatal journey and that was a tougher pill for him to swallow."

Brennan swallowed hard and blinked to try and hold back the tears that welled up in her eyes.

"Then after months of agonizing over your disappearance, Parker's disease began to rear it's ugly head and he spent months exhausting every resource available to help his son." Caroline shook her head again. "It's such a shame, it could all have been prevented."

Brennan was about to ask another question, but she froze when she saw Booth reach for the gun on the table in front of him. He held it in front of his bloodshot, swollen eyes and studied it. Brennan moved forward involuntarily, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and take the gun away. But she was stopped by an icy hand on her arm.

"There's nothing you can do here, Cherie," Caroline said. "This is only a possibility, albeit a strong one."

"Then why are we here?" Brennan asked. Her expression revealed that she was tired, confused and highly disturbed by the scene playing out before her. "If I can't do anything to stop this, why are you showing this to me?"

"Possibilities, Dr. Brennan...possibilities," the apparition said. Then she reached out for Brennan's hand. Brennan, however, was reluctant to leave Booth in this state, even if there was nothing she could do to change the situation. She took a step away from Caroline.

"Come now, Dr. Brennan," Caroline said. "There are more possibilities to explore..."

Brennan frowned and slowly held out her hand as she took one last look at the heart crushing image of a distraught Booth struggling with loss, pain and loneliness. She was glad the changes these apparitions brought were so rapid because when she blinked her eyes, the heart crushing scene was replaced by the warmth and glow of the Hodgins estate again.

This scene was similar to the Christmas Micah had shown her, though the decorations had changed slightly. Again there were electric candles instead of real ones and the twinkle lights were multi-colored rather than all white. The same group had gathered and again there were the same number of chairs around the table, but no one had yet taken their seat for dinner. All were still milling about, sipping on a cocktail or snacking on an hors d'oeuvre. The mood was even more festive than the previous dinner and Brennan felt herself relaxing as she watched.

Minutes later, the doorbell rang and she was shocked to see Booth, an early teen Parker, herself and an infant arrive together when the door was opened by Angela. Hugs, smiles and greetings were exchanged as entered the home and shed their coats and bags of gifts before Parker was _attacked_ by the Hodgins twins.

"What is this?" Brennan asked as she whirled on the apparition.

"Once again, Dr. Brennan, possibilities," Caroline said, sounding a little exasperated.

"This is a possibility?" Brennan asked. "Who's child am I carrying?"

"Why yours, of course," Caroline replied.

"I...have a child?" Brennan asked as she turned back to watch the gathering continue. "Or...having a child is possible?" The apparition didn't answer. "Who is the father?"

"Really?" Caroline asked in return. "The two of you arrived with Booth and Parker and you're asking _who is the father_?"

"Yes," Brennan said. She released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Booth is that adorable little girl's daddy," Caroline said. "And this time, he was present for the entire pregnancy, doctor's appointments, labor, delivery...everything. I don't think there could be a man who dotes more on his partner or is prouder of his children."

Brennan stood, mouth agape, tears welling up in her eyes. "A girl," she said after several minutes.

"Indeed, Cherie," said Caroline. "Well, I hate to break up this little party, but it's time to get you back."

"What?" Brennan asked. She was stunned. "There are no more possibilities?"

"Oh, there are an infinite number of possibilities," the apparition replied. "But most are variations on these themes."

"What do I have to do to make this possibility a reality?" Brennan asked. She refused to take the apparition's hand before she got an answer.

"Sorry, Dr. Brennan," Caroline said. "That is not in my job description."


	5. Chapter 5

Brennan blinked and she was back in her bed, still wearing her warm robe but feeling far less exhausted than before. She looked at the clock and was relieved to find it was 4:47 am. She got out of bed and walked to the windows to peer out. Snow was falling softly and covering everything in a blanket of fluffy white. Everything looked clean, fresh and beautiful. There was a stillness that brought a calm feeling to her and she decided to curl up in one of he nearby chairs.

She continued to watch the snow fall as she tried to sort through the images of the lengthy, bizarre, incredibly detailed and realistic dream. While she used her imagination regularly to write her novels, she didn't usually imagine surroundings and circumstances that involved people she knew, particularly events about which she had little to no first hand knowledge.

Brennan was not one to give much credence to dreams beyond the brain subconsciously expressing fears, concerns, desires. She wondered what combination of those things had prompted her brain to express what had obviously been a variation on _A Christmas Carol_. She couldn't recall the last time she'd read that book or watched a filmed adaptation of it.

Before she knew it, an hour had passed, but she'd done a lot of thinking and had come to some conclusions. The first being she would cancel her plans to travel to Columbia in January. The second was that she would get herself up, showered and ready because she was planning to attend the Hodgins' Christmas dinner after all. The third was that in between getting ready and going to Angela and Jack's, she would stop by Booth's and drop off the gift she'd gotten for Parker several months ago.

One day in September, she'd asked The Science Dude for this recommendation for a science learning toy and he'd pointed her in the direction of a digital USB microscope she'd purchased with the intention of giving it to Parker for Christmas. However, several events in the past two months had caused her to question the wisdom of following through on that intention. The last thing she wanted was to cause any more strain between Booth and Hannah or Hannah and Parker. She had pretty well been avoiding any interaction with the trio outside of work related activities.

She'd been able to cope with the change in Booth's attitude toward her before the case that opened her eyes to the true nature of their relationship. Then in hindsight, the change in his demeanor since returning from Afghanistan had hurt. After that case, she'd recalled the way he rolled his eyes when she tried to explain things from an anthropological perspective, the way he avoided gatherings with the squints, the way his nickname for her colleagues had begun to sound less endearing and more condescending.

She would not linger when she stopped by Booth's apartment. She would simply drop the gift off, and wish them a Merry Christmas. There could be no harm in that. Then she would go to Angela and Jack's to see if she could help with their preparations for dinner. Work could wait. Solitude could wait.

After stopping by her favorite bakery for some scones, she arrived at Booth's front door. She took a deep breath and reassured herself that she had made the right decision. Then she knocked and waited.

It wasn't long before Booth opened the door. The sight of him in a white ribbed tank and plaid pajama bottoms was enough to make her begin second guessing her decision to visit. He smiled, but she could tell he was surprised to see her. "Bones," he said and looked past her into the hallway. "Merry Christmas. You wanna come in?"

"No," she said and looked down at the gifts she was carrying. "I...wanted to drop off..."

She as interrupted by Parker as he rushed past his father and nearly knocked her over in his exuberant effort to give her a hug. "Bones!" he exclaimed. "Merry Christmas! Are you going to spend the day with us?"

"Merry Christmas, Parker," she said and returned his hug as best should could while carrying items in both hands.. "Oh, no, I have plans with Angela and Jack, but I wanted to bring this to you," she said and handed the gift to him. "I'm sorry I didn't get it to you before now..."

"Thanks, Bones!" Parker said as he took the present and held it while smiling brightly at her.

"I thought you might enjoy these too," she said as she handed Booth the container of scones from the bakery.

"Thanks, Bones," Booth said as he took the container from her. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?"

"No, I really can't stay," she said. It was as he reached forward to take the scones that she noticed the St. Christopher's medal hanging around his neck because it spilled out from under the tank. Though she wanted nothing more than to leave, her curiosity got the better of her. She gingerly reached up, took hold of the medal and turned it over. Inscribed on the back was _Deo vindice_. "This was a gift from Hank, wasn't it?" she asked.

The stricken look on her face and rather unexpected invasion of his personal space surprised Booth. "Uh, yeah," he replied. "I've had it for years..."

"Approximately twenty years..." she said, sounding distracted as her expression became blank.

"Uh...yeah," he thought about it and decided she was right. "How'd you know?"

Brennan quickly dropped the medal and stepped back into the hallway. "I'm sorry, Booth, I didn't want to intrude, but I wanted Parker to have the gift and I wanted to wish you _all_ a Merry Christmas," she said rapidly. "I really have to be going..."

"OK," he said. "Thanks again!" he called after her as she hurried down the hallway toward the elevator.

Parker said "Merry Christmas!" again and poked his head around his dad to watch her walk away. "Can I open this now?" Parker asked Booth as he closed the door and turned to walk back toward the living room.

Brennan did not stop moving until she was seated behind the steering wheel of her car. Then she took several deep breaths to try and calm her rapidly beating heart. That encounter had been far more difficult than she had anticipated and she was having difficulty reconciling her inexplicable knowledge of the medal Booth was wearing. Though she'd noticed before, she'd never asked about it and he'd never talked about it that she could recall. She must have overheard something at some point in some discussion with someone, she decided.

Having calmed herself sufficiently, Brennan took one last look up toward Booth's apartment and was surprised to see him standing in the window looking out toward the car. She immediately started the car and left. Then she did her best not to think about why he'd been watching out the window.

It was just after 8:00 am when Brennan pulled into the Hodgins' driveway. Angela was pleasantly surprised to see her and hugged her warmly. The three colleagues spent the morning visiting, cooking and generally preparing for the guests that would be arriving mid-afternoon.

Sweets and Daisy were the first to arrive and Brennan did her best to stay occupied in the kitchen to avoid both. While she was fond of both, Daisy had a way of grating on her already frayed nerves and Sweets had been far too concerned about her since _the_ case almost two months previous. So far, this day has been far more pleasant that she'd imagined and she didn't want to that to change.

Before long, Cam, Michelle and Paul join the gathering and not long after that, Wendel and Cindy arrive as well. By that time, Brennan and Angela had joined the group in the media room where a cozy fire was roaring away in the fire place and a rousing tournament of Wii bowling was underway.

Two hours later, the group was gathering in the dining room as dinner was about to be served when the door bell rang unexpectedly. Jack excused himself to answer the door. Brennan was smoothing her napkin in her lap and not looking up when the remainder of the group began to welcome the newcomers. Her head snapped up at hearing Booth's name pass Angela's lips and her heart started beating rapidly as she felt a flush adorn her cheeks.

She stood with everyone else so an not to draw attention to herself for behaving differently. Hannah explained that Booth's oven had stopped working, so they brought a couple of the side dishes she'd made and decided to take up Angela and Jack on their invitation. Booth apologized if their arrival had caused any inconvenience and Jack assured him their arrival had only enhanced their gathering.

All the while, Brennan remained silent and concentrated on keeping a pleasant and friendly smile on her face. She hugged Parker when he insisted on sitting next to her at the table and she managed to slow her increased respiratory rate and soon after, her pulse.

Dinner flowed smoothly as Brennan helped Angela serve the elegant feast they'd prepared. When it had concluded, Brennan insisted on clearing the dishes while the rest of the group returned to the media room. A gift exchange and more tournament action were planned for the remainder of the evening. Angela only allowed her best friend to take on the task if she promised to only clear the table and leave the kitchen clean up for the staff who would be returning the next morning.

Brennan entered the media room through a door that was tucked in the wall next to the fireplace. This allowed her to enter the room largely undetected. Angela noticed her arrival, but no one else seemed to as they were engrossed in the bowling tournament that had restarted after adding the new arrivals.

When the current game was over and the two low scoring participants had been eliminated, Angela enforced a pause so the gift exchange could begin. Brennan remained in front of the door as Jack walked to the tree and the rest of the group found seats if they weren't already sitting.

Parker turned and noticed Brennan. He smiled at her and said, "Bones...you're standing under mistletoe."

Brennan looked above her head and was horrified to notice that Parker had observed a detail she'd inexplicably missed. She started to move away from the door, but Parker stopped her and gave her hand a gentle tug. She bent down and he planted a big kiss on her cheek.

She gave him a hug and breathed a sigh of relief, then moved as quickly as possible away from the door and the precariously placed plant. The group chuckled, touched by the tender moment and Brennan tried in vain to keep her gaze away from Parker as he returned to a seat next to this father. While avoiding looking at Booth her gaze landed squarely on Hannah, who was watching her with an intensity that made Brennan uncomfortable.

Hannah and Brennan's relationship had been strained since the case that had caused Brennan to finally reveal that she felt more for Booth than a professional, partner's closeness, concern or caring. The admission during the drive back to her apartment on that rainy, miserable night she wished she could forget had made it impossible for Brennan to continue in friendly interaction with either Hannah or Booth. She'd simply avoided contact with either of them outside of work interaction and that made Hannah suspicious.

Brennan took a seat near another exit - one she checked for mistletoe before selecting - and sat quietly as Jack began handing out gifts. She waited, trying to maintain a facade of calm, enjoyment until she was sure the attention of everyone in the room was directed away from her. Knowing there would be no gifts from her or to her under the spectacularly decorated tree, she made her retreat as soon as she felt she could leave unnoticed.

She almost made it too, but she'd been on Angela's radar all day and there was no way she was escaping without at least saying goodbye to her host. Angela caught her as she was retrieving her coat from the entry closet.

"And where do you think you're going, Missy?" Angela asked.

"I'm sorry, Ang, but I really need to be going. I'm expecting a call from Dad, Russ and his family. I don't want to miss it."

"Did you forget your cell at home?" Angela asked with a disbelieving look on her face.

Brennan shook her head and bowed it, trying with all of her might to hold back tears. She found the more tired she felt, the less able she was to compartmentalize or control her emotions.

"Oh, Bren," Angela said as she walked forward and pulled her best friend into a hug. "Sweetie, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," Brennan replied and sniffed. "I'm just very tired and you know...Christmas is always a struggle for me."

"But Bren," Angela said as she led her into the dining room, "this isn't about Christmas, is it?"

Brennan looked at her friend with pleading eyes, "Please, Ang, I just want to go home and rest."

"Sure, Sweetie," Angela said as she led Brennan through the kitchen to the side entrance, knowing it was closer to Brennan's car than the front. "You rest and then maybe you can tell me what's been going on with you and Booth for the last few weeks when I stop by tomorrow."

"Ang, you don't need to stop by tomorrow. Nothing is going on between Booth and I," said Brennan.

"You can say that again," Angela said. "I'd say less than nothing...for several weeks now, but that doesn't explain why you nearly hyperventilated when Parker pointed out that you were standing under mistletoe in there. And it doesn't explain the flush that colored Booth's cheeks or the icy aura that emanated from Hannah until after you sat as far away as you could get from the Booth crew."

Brennan stared, dumbfounded. "I don't know what that means," she said quietly.

"Yes, you do," Angela replied. "But I'll wait as long as you want to hear the tale."

Brennan sighed and plopped herself on the bench in entryway. "I made a mistake," Brennan said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Angela said quietly next to her friend. "What kind of mistake?"

"Two, actually," Brennan said and her voice was a bit stronger. "The first was when I told Booth I could not give him what he wanted. And the second was when I admitted to him that I had made that mistake and regretted that I had missed my moment."

"Wait," Angela said, her eyes as big as saucers, "what did Booth ask you to be?"

Brennan sighed and looked up. She blinked but was unable to control the tears that were once again beginning to flow freely.

"Oh, Ang," Brennan said as Angela pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, but I just had to tell someone. Keeping this all to myself is too much."

"Well, yeah," said Ang. "Now start from the beginning."

"No," Brennan said and wiped at her eyes. "It would take too long and your guests are going to notice your absence."

"Sweetie," said Angela, "that is not important. Please, tell me."

"I will," Brennan agreed, "but not today. You go back and enjoy the rest of your day. If you still want to stop by tomorrow, we'll have a talk."

Angela gave her a look that Brennan knew meant she was not giving up that easily. "Please, Ang. Please don't make this an issue right now. Please go back and finish the evening. I don't want anyone else to know or to cause any more tension than I already have."

Angela contemplated her request and finally agreed. Brennan left without another word and Angela returned to the gathering. She gave Brennan's excuse and explained that she'd insisted Brennan take a plate of leftovers with her.


	6. Chapter 6

February 14, 3:00 pm

Brennan pulled her coat on, grabbed her bag and walked out of her office. It had been a long, day already and she could no longer ignore the growling of her insistent stomach. Although she usually liked to avoid eating in public on this day in particular, she thought the diner would be a better choice than most places...if she didn't find Booth or Hannah there. At this time of day, she felt pretty safe in her ability to avoid them.

Things had gone well since her second admission to Angela on the day after Christmas. Though she knew it was irrational, somehow knowing that Angela was aware of her feelings for Booth and her regret at being unable to admit them in time made it easier for her to deal with her lack of adjustment to their situation. She wondered regularly how Booth had adjusted because it had been more than four months and she still had not managed it. So much for the three days theory.

She was relieved to find the diner mostly empty and void of either Hannah or Booth. She decided to sit at the counter rather than at _their_ table. Then she wondered when she'd begun to think of it as _their_ table. The waitress took her order and she tried to find something to distract her from thinking about Booth as she waited for her food to arrive.

A television mounted to the wall in the corner was broadcasting a news program. Brennan was surprised when the anchor broke away to South Korea where Hannah began reporting. She wondered what Booth thought of his girlfriend being away on Valentine's Day. Just as her food arrived, her cell began ringing. She looked at the screen to see who was calling and it was Booth.

"Brennan," she said as her way of answering the phone.

"Bones, can we meet? Caroline needs you to look at some x-rays for one of her cases," Booth said and she noted a lack of enthusiasm in his voice.

"Can you come to the diner?" she asked as she began picking at her salad. "My lunch just arrived...or I can stop by after I finish eating?"

"No, I'll be right over," Booth said and the call was disconnected.

She was nearly finished with her salad by the time Booth arrived. He joined her at the counter, ordered a side of fries and then suggested they move to the table where they'd have more room and better light for looking at the films he'd brought with him. She took a quick look at the x-rays, but said she'd need to take them back to the lab to truly be able to assess any significant anomalies or injuries.

"I saw Hannah on the television a while ago," Brennan said. When she saw the look on Booth's face, she regretted having brought up the subject. She had not intended to bring it up, but she couldn't help herself.

"Yeah," he said, "she took an assignment in Asia."

"Yes, I believe she was reporting from South Korea," Brennan said. "When will she be returning?"

Booth shrugged and then sighed. "To be honest," he said, "I don't think she will be returning."

Brennan froze with her fork midway between her plate and her mouth. "What?" she asked. "Why?" She lowered her fork to the plate, her eyes intent on Booth.

He shrugged again. "It's hard to explain, Bones," he said.

She wanted to say something comforting because she could tell he was hurting, but she was afraid of saying the wrong thing, so she said nothing. She waited, hoping he would continue to explain. He didn't disappoint her.

"This opportunity was too good for her to pass up," Booth said.

"She chose an assignment over you?" Brennan asked.

"No...well, not exactly, Bones," he replied. "Look...I told her to go. I didn't want to be the reason she turned the assignment down. The domestic thing wasn't really working for her."

"I'm sorry, Booth," Brennan said. She started to reach out, intending to place her hand on his arm, but she stopped herself. It just didn't feel right at that moment. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table and looked down at his plate of untouched fries.

"Don't be," he said. "It's for the best. Hannah's much happier when she's on the move. It turns out living with me wasn't quite what she thought it would be." She noticed a flicker of a reflection near the second button of his shirt. The St. Christopher's medal peeked out between the buttons and she sucked in a breath involuntarily when she recognized it again.

"She will come to regret her choice," Brennan said softly.

"No, I don't think she will," Booth said. He looked up from his plate of fries and straight into her eyes. She wanted to look away, but couldn't. "I wasn't completely honest with her, Bones. I wasn't really me with her."

Brennan swallowed hard, trying to clear a lump in her throat. "I don't know what that means."

"It means, she never knew the real me," he said. He suddenly seemed tired. "Things just started falling apart after Christmas. The failed attempt at making a holiday dinner just started the ball rolling. She said she'd tried to ignore her instincts and let me reveal myself to her in my own time, but after that Christmas dinner, she couldn't stop herself from investigating. She started asking questions, found out more about me than she wanted to know, I guess."

"What could she possibly find out that you hadn't already told her?" Brennan asked. She assumed he'd told Hannah at least as much as he shared with her.

"A lot," he said. "We never really talked about the past. The past was in the past. I didn't feel like bringing it up."

"But Booth," Brennan said.

He held up his hand to stop her. "I know," he said. "I was less that forthcoming with her and I'm not sure why. I've thought about it and I guess...I don't know. I never expected her to follow me here. I think there was part of me that knew what we had wasn't the real thing. She was a wonderful distraction and helped me in a time when I really needed someone..."

Brennan nodded. She was fighting back tears. More than anything, she didn't want to cry in front of him. Her mind jumped immediately to an explanation about how love was ephemeral, a chemical reaction to stimulus...but she wisely chose not to share it. He'd heard it before.

"And don't give me the _love is ephemeral_ lecture, please," he said. His fingers made quote marks to emphasize his familiarity with the topic.

"I have no intention of giving any lectures to you or anyone else on the topic of romantic love," she said quietly. "I clearly have no expertise in the subject."

His eyes softened as he saw the emotions she was feeling play fleetingly across her face. "I don't think there is an expert in the subject," he said finally. "It sounds like you've changed your mind from the way you used to feel about it?"

"I don't know," she said and looked away from his face. If she were someone who believed that one could see emotions displayed in the eyes, she would say she saw hope in his, but she was afraid she was wrong. "Have you changed your mind about it?" She desperately wanted his answer to be _no_.

"No," he replied.

She looked up at him again. "No?" she asked. "How can you remain convinced that love is everlasting? Where is your evidence?"

He smiled and sat back. "Right in front of me," he said.

Her face expressed her confusion at his statement. "I don't understand."

"You may not be ready to hear this, but you are my evidence."

"What?" she asked. "Me? How could I possibly be evidence in regards to love?"

"Because, whether you believe it or not, whether I deserve it or not, I love you and I think at least a part of you still loves me."

Brennan swallowed hard again. Her pulse rate had doubled and she suddenly found it difficult to breathe through her nose. "You...love me?"

He was bolstered by the fact that she hadn't disputed his claim that she loved him. "Yes," he said simply.

A mixture of elation, hope, fear and anger warred in her. How could he tell her that now? "You love...me? How can you...you..." For not the first time around him, she found herself unable to formulate a thought, unable to articulate a complete sentence.

"Bones," he said and reached his hand out to place it on hers.

She jerked it away. "No," she said in a hoarse whisper. "You told me you loved Hannah," she said. "You said you wanted to _take a chance_ on us. How is that evidence? I was unwilling to risk our partnership...our...friendship for the chance at a romantic relationship. I tried to maintain the most important relationship I've ever been in...one I could not bear to lose." She swallowed hard again and took a deep breath to try and calm herself. It didn't work.

"When I finally realized I had nothing more to lose, I admitted my mistake..." She shook her head in an effort to rid herself of the memory of _that_ night, that miserable, rainy night. The tears began to flow again, though she contained the sob that threatened to surface.

"How can you tell me you love me?" she asked. "I don't see your evidence." She brushed away the tears that rolled down her face.

"Bones," he said. "I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I know what that feels like and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone someone I love."

She stopped wiping at her cheeks and looked at him. She had hurt him, hadn't she? She remembered the tears in his eyes, the stricken look he'd had when she rejected his offer to take a chance...to take a _chance..._

"I know I botched things last year. I know I handled it badly. I was just...I'd wanted it so badly, for so long...I was afraid of...exactly what happened." He reached out again to take her hand in his. This time she didn't jerk it way.

"I..." Booth stopped and took a deep breath. She recognized the vulnerability and sincerity with which he spoke. She'd seen it before, but hadn't really recognized it then. "I still believe in everlasting true love, Bones...because I love you like I've loved no other. Because even when I was with Hannah, I could not stop thinking about you. Because despite my best efforts to convince myself that I was happy and had moved on, deep down I knew that wasn't possible."

She wanted to say...something, but she couldn't. The lump in her throat would not be swallowed away and she was afraid...afraid she hadn't really heard what she thought he'd said.

"I know I have some work to do in order for you to trust me again," he said. "But if you're willing to let me try, I will do whatever it takes to regain your trust."

"Booth, I trust you," she said. "I trust you with my life."

"But I want you to trust me with your heart," he said. "And I want to trust you with my heart."

She contemplated his statement.

"Can you forgive...do you still...is the signal still strong enough for you to recognize?" he asked.

"If you felt...feel...even half of what I feel...I don't know how you adjusted," she said, her voice fading to a whisper as tears began to roll again.

"I didn't," he admitted.

"But you said..." she didn't finish the sentence.

"I said a lot of things because I was hurting," he replied. "At the time, I thought I meant them, but in hindsight, I know I didn't."

She took a deep breath and looked down at where their hands were still clasped together. An unbidden warmth flowed over her and she felt herself start to relax a bit.

"What now?" she asked.

"Do you..." he was interrupted.

"Still love you?" she asked.

He nodded, his expression hopeful.

"From all that I have learned through my discussions with you, from watching Angela and Jack and from the uniqueness of what I feel for you alone...yes," she said.

The grin that split his face was contagious as she felt herself reflecting a smile back at him.

"Bones, can I take you to dinner this evening?" he asked.

"Only if I can get these films back to the lab and finish my report for Caroline before dinner time," she replied.

"Well, then, we'd better get you back to the lab," he said as he stood and offered his hand to her.


	7. Epilogue

Over the next several months, their friends were relieved to see the partners return to their previous level of closeness. Their relationship appeared to be right back where it was before their respective sabbaticals to Afghanistan and Indonesia. The difference this time was in their colleagues and friends because none of them teased or hinted that a romantic relationship was impending or even expected any longer.

Even Angela, who knew how badly they'd both been hurt by the depth of their feelings for each other, was not prying or pushing, mostly because she was too busy learning about motherhood times two and preparing for the second annual Hodgins Christmas gathering. There would be one less participant this year, however, and that participant would not be sorely missed.

When Booth, Parker and Brennan arrived together after everyone else in mid-afternoon on Christmas day, no one thought anything of it. Booth often picked Brennan up on their way to many destinations. What none of them knew was that Booth and Brennan has been fully involved in a romantic relationship for over sixth months.

The partners had decided it would be best if they kept it to themselves in the beginning. They had needed time to adjust to the change without the pressure of everyone else knowing, needed time to figure out a strategy to ensure their partnership would not be jeopardized. But now, they felt ready to let their friends in on the change and they'd agreed that Christmas would be a good time to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

Dinner had gone well, with secret hand holding under the table and the non-verbal communication everyone present had become accustomed to witnessing between the partners. As in the previous year, the group had retired to the media room to exchange gifts and enjoy each other's company.

After dinner, Brennan was standing in the doorway beside the fireplace as she had the year before. And as expected, Parker had noticed the mistletoe hanging over head. Once again, Parker walked up and gave Brennan a kiss on the cheek. She didn't have to bend quite as far this year due to the increase in Parker's height.

She started to move away from the doorway again.

"Hold on there, Bones," Booth said as he stood up and began walking toward her. The giggling and conversation that had been creating a steady flow of background noise began to fade as he moved closer to her. By the time he reached her, the room was silent.

He moved close enough to whisper, "Are you sure about this?" She nodded and smiled, feeling inexplicably shy.

He closed the remaining distance between them, reaching up to cradle her face between his palms and bending down slightly to bring their lips together. He intended to give her a quick but tender kiss, but she was having none of that. She wanted to be sure there was no question as to the nature of their relationship after the kiss.

As he was beginning to pull away, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. Her arms snaked up and around his neck. His hands migrated to the back of her head and down around her waist seconds later as she deepened the kiss and started his heart racing.

She really had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but felt the flush on her cheeks and the now familiar and welcome warmth that rushed through her each and every time they connected physically. She placed another quick kiss on his lips before pulling back and opening her eyes.

"Bones," he said quietly, in a tone that told her she'd surprised even him with the intensity of that kiss. Booth turned and they both looked at the faces of their friends, frozen, with their mouths agape...except for Parker. He was smiling brightly and then gave a fist pump with a whispered _yes_ of victory that finally brought the others out of their collective shock.

"Hey, Hodgie," Angela said, "remind me to stand under that mistletoe later today."

Her comment drew a relieved collective chuckle from the group. "So," Angela said, "that was quite a kiss. Got anything else you care to share with us?"

"Booth and I have been..." Booth interrupted her before she could give a more literal explanation.

"...seeing each other for about six months now," he finished. Parker rushed forward and gave his Dad a fist bump.

"Six months?" Angela exclaimed. "Where the hell was I?"

"Giving birth to twins," Brennan replied. "We didn't want anyone else to know. We needed some time to convince ourselves we could be..."

"...involved," Booth interrupted her again.

"...and not allow it to affect our professional relationship," Brennan finished.

Sweets stepped forward and scrutinized the pair. "Well, you certainly seem to have found a way to make both relationships work. Six months? Really?"

Booth nodded. "We've established our own set of rules, Sweets. We can handle it."

"I have no doubt you can," he said.

Brennan said, "I will be less than cooperative should the FBI try to assign another liaison to the Jeffersonian or if they try to pair me with another field agent. There is nothing in my contract that says I have to go out in the field for more than an initial assessment of remains."

Booth said nothing, but smiled broadly at her defensive statement, all the more thrilled to hear her choose the personal relationship over the professional one.

"I don't think there will be a need for your ultimatum, Dr. Brennan," Sweets said. "I've already documented the unique nature of your partnership and the way your individual qualities complement the others to create an extremely efficient crime solving team. In fact, for a few months last year, the separation you experienced on the personal side had a detrimental effect on that efficiency which I also documented."

"What?" Booth asked. "We still solved the cases we worked on."

"Yes," Sweets agreed, "but not at the expedient rate with which you solve cases when your personal interactions are as frequent as your professional interactions."

"So, we work faster when we're together, than when we're strictly partners?" Booth clarified.

"That's what he just said," Brennan stated. "However, their may be no cause and effect relationship since the number of murders can vary and would be a more reliable factor in the solve rate."

"Shhh, Bones," Booth whispered. "He's trying to help us make our case."

"Right," she nodded.

Booth beamed. "We'll find a way to make it work," he said. "They'd be foolish to screw around with this team dynamic," he continued as he moved his arm in a circular motion indicating he was including them all in the team.


End file.
